August 29, 2004
Dear Maggie,
When you answered the phone last October, you sounded so grown-up. I didn't recognize your voice. I thought I was talking to your sister. I had so many questions I wanted to ask you. I'm very sorry Mr. Wells took the phone away from you after you said, "I miss you too, daddy" and before we had a chance to talk. But it was so very good to hear your voice, even if for only those few seconds. I will never forget those words.
I always wonder what you look like now. Are you tall? Do you still have your dimples? Maybe you will read this and send me some pictures. Are you still playing soccer? Did you ever learn to play the drums? Do you remember when you played the drums at Dan's house? You're a natural, full of energy. I often wish I was with you so I could make sure you learn to channel your abundant energy and talent into a hobby you will enjoy all your life. You would be a good actress or musician. Do learn to play an instrument Maggie. I think you would be good at it.
I bet you have a lot of friends. You made friends so easily. Oh, how I miss you, Maggie. I miss you so much, words can never express. I often walk along the beach picking up seashells while thinking of you and how much I wish I was part of your life. When I do walk it's usually alone. And I always end-up crying, the pain is so intense. I save those shells and will give them to you someday when we see each other again. I've been buying some little things that I think you will like. Maybe some day soon, I will be able to get them to you.
I have alot to say to you. I will write again soon. Never forget, you're my favorite youngest daughter. Most importantly, I want you to know I love you and will never stop loving you.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about and pray for you.
Your Dad.
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Dear Matthew,
I tried to call you again. In October I spoke with your sister for a few minutes. I'm sure you've heard all about it. I tried to call you on your 17th birthday, March 16th. I couldn't get through. The phone had been programmed to not accept calls from "un-identified" callers. I want you to know that I have done what I can to contact you.
I wrote a letter to your step-father in an attempt to get him to stop preventing us from communicating with each other. Almost six years is long enough. As you most likely know, he didn't respond and he didn't change his despicable behavior.
My only hope is that you somehow rise above all the childish vengefulness that characterizes those who have you in their care. Don't let others allow you to think that I - because we are not being allowed free communication with each other - don't love you or care for you. I do - more than you will ever know. I only left my home of almost thirty years - and you and your sister - because I was afraid I would do something that would make me a criminal in the eyes of the law, embarrass you and your brother and sisters and give the legal authorities exactly what they seemed to be pushing for, justification for their having separating a father from his children.
I have written a letter to those who employ your step-dad. Maybe things will change as a result of my letter.
Matthew, what ever you do, don't stop believing that all things will work out for the best, no matter how bad it gets. It could always be worse. Don't let the circumstances you find youself in get the better of you. I know you are a bright boy. Use your skills, talents, ablilities and knowledge in the right ways. You have a right to be angry, but don't let your anger destroy you. Find ways to release your feelings in the proper ways.
Are you swimming? Rock climbing? You were a natural "spiderman." You were on your way to becoming a great alternative sports enthusiast. What sports are you involved in? I understand you have a knack with computers. I wish we were together so you could teach me what you know.
I have so many questions to ask you. So many things to tell you. Some how, some way, I hope you run across this letter some day soon and know and believe that I miss you dearly and will never stop loving you.
I went through much of what you're going through now, as my parents divorced when I was about your age. I realize now that God allowed that unfortunate happening in my life to help make me who I am today. I'm comforted knowing that God took care of me and that He loves you even more than I do and will take care of you also.
I think about and pray for you constantly.
All my love to you,
Dad.
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